Jobs I would be good at (and therefore someone should hire me for)

November 18, 2008


A person who goes shopping with other people and tells them what to buy (also known as a stylist) or Stacy London’s assistant – We’ve been watching a lot of WNTW lately and I think that qualifies me as an expert. I stare at the screen and nod my head enthusiastically at everything Stacy and Clinton say. And I got the sassy remarks down. “Lock and load the ladies.” “Those pants make your butt look inflateable.” “Shut up!”

A permanent audience member of the Ellen show –Qualifications: dance moves unheard of for a white girl; loud, contagious laugh; enthusiasm for any free prize; expert ridiculous game player

Wife of a celebrity– Want to start a fashion line? No problem. How about perfume? Of course! What about writing a cookbook or novel? Automatic best seller! And let’s see what you’ll look like in a Gap ad. Perfect!

One of the ladies on The View – I’m convinced that I could form better arguments then Elizabeth. Plus, discussing Hot Topics that are actually frivolous is one my favorite pastimes.

Writer of magazine headlines – Let me showcase my talents: Cosmopolitan, “Satisfy your man in 12 easy steps” – Real Simple ,“Fun weekend project: organizing the linen closet! ”- Rachael Ray, “Just douse everything with EVOO and parmesan cheese and you’re set!”

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